He is no longer a boy kitty... but an "it" for all intensive purposes!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Let go. Let God.
The things that we need to experience don't always feel like a trip to the spa. Truth, can sometimes feel like Helga's Swedish massage with two fists and elbows...but, when the bruises are gone- the knots are smooth, you'll stand up so much straighter.
Friday, June 18, 2010
2 weeks later....
So, I wasn't even in the US for two weeks and I'm gone again already! This time, TORONTO!
More on that later...
Let's have a little cross-country wrap up! Landed at LAX two weeks ago and drove allll the way to phoenix that night. The following 3 days in Phoenix were a blur of events, parties, friends... all while in a blur of jetlag. It was an awesome visit and I got to see *almost* everyone I wanted to see. My birthday party was great, I got to catch up with a ton of friends and even had a few people surprised me. Love my friends! I got my hair done while in AZ as well... it's about a foot shorter and super blonde now! I was a bit shocked about the length at first, but it's sooo healthy and feels great.
On the evening of my birthday I packed up my kitty and hopped on a plane to Austin. It's amazing how uneventful domestic travel feels after coming from Korea a few days prior. The short 2.5 hour flight was only slightly disturbed by my kitty, haha. He was so easy to travel with, what a champ!
I spent 5 days in Austin and it was sooo nice to spend time with my mom and catch up with some friends. We went shopping and I have a ton of new summer clothes, yay! The days flew by there and I could hardly believe it was time to go! We were SO busy!
On Friday morning I took off to head to Raleigh, NC. The drive took 1.5 days (got there at 1pm on Saturday) and it was surprisingly easy! I've done the drive before, but I think it was even easier this time. It had been 9 months since I got to just drive with my windows down and music up... so it was amazing to just sing my lil heart out and chat with friends on the phone.
Raleigh was exciting as always. It's always great to see my bestie JESSICAAA! We had an amazing visit and it was over before I could stop and blink. We hung out with some old friends, made some new friends, and got into some good trouble. I said goodbye to my old faithful.... it hurt WAY more than I expected, but I needed to do it. He made my decision really easy, thankfully. I'm happy to be moving forward without any skeletons in my closet or "what ifs" lingering in the back of my mind. Fresh start... GO!
I also ended things with Nick... hopefully for the last time. I realized when there are just HUGE fundamental differences in how we view boundaries and respect... it'd just never work. I spoke to many people (probably too many) about the big problem, and EVERY person, 100% agreed with my view.... so thankfully I can move forward knowing I'm right. Our big problem was that he wants to maintain relationships with women he had flings with. I think it's utterly disrespectful to try and keep women in his life that were flings, and even random sex. I don't have a problem with him being friends with some ex's... like the ones who really were friends to him and aren't random girls he hooked up with. He says he sees it as compromising a part of himself to give up those "friendships" in order to be with me. If hanging out with random girls he banged is more important than our relationship, it's obviously not a relationship I need to be in. I've frankly never felt so belittled and disrespected by a boyfriend. If he wouldn't have cheated on me things may have been different, but in the end it still wouldn't have worked if he cant have boundaries with women from his past. Just recently he sent an email to a girl saying "she was the one who got away and he hopes for another chance." That probably should have been my BIG GIANT red flag to end things right then. He still has the same mentality he had when he cheated on me last year. He wants to keep all these avenues of communication and "friendship" open with these girls he used to sleep with and doesn't see how that will interfere with any relationship he will have. I don't understand his need to be accepted and "friends" with everyone.... I'm much more discriminating about the people I have in my life, and I suppose thats why I have such a great group of friends I've had for years.
So, I'm moving forward with my head held high knowing that I made the very best choice I could have made. I stood up for myself and didn't compromise what I know is right. It hasn't really stung yet... so I'm wondering if since I knew it was coming I was prepared for this... or maybe I'll feel it later.
I just started a new book called "Unhooked Generation" about why it's so hard to find commitment in my generation..... expect a blog about my views on this shortly!
Anyway, Toronto is wonderful so far and I can't wait to go hang out with some friends up here. It looks like there will be a TON to do and see, YESS!!
xoxo
More on that later...
Let's have a little cross-country wrap up! Landed at LAX two weeks ago and drove allll the way to phoenix that night. The following 3 days in Phoenix were a blur of events, parties, friends... all while in a blur of jetlag. It was an awesome visit and I got to see *almost* everyone I wanted to see. My birthday party was great, I got to catch up with a ton of friends and even had a few people surprised me. Love my friends! I got my hair done while in AZ as well... it's about a foot shorter and super blonde now! I was a bit shocked about the length at first, but it's sooo healthy and feels great.
On the evening of my birthday I packed up my kitty and hopped on a plane to Austin. It's amazing how uneventful domestic travel feels after coming from Korea a few days prior. The short 2.5 hour flight was only slightly disturbed by my kitty, haha. He was so easy to travel with, what a champ!
I spent 5 days in Austin and it was sooo nice to spend time with my mom and catch up with some friends. We went shopping and I have a ton of new summer clothes, yay! The days flew by there and I could hardly believe it was time to go! We were SO busy!
On Friday morning I took off to head to Raleigh, NC. The drive took 1.5 days (got there at 1pm on Saturday) and it was surprisingly easy! I've done the drive before, but I think it was even easier this time. It had been 9 months since I got to just drive with my windows down and music up... so it was amazing to just sing my lil heart out and chat with friends on the phone.
Raleigh was exciting as always. It's always great to see my bestie JESSICAAA! We had an amazing visit and it was over before I could stop and blink. We hung out with some old friends, made some new friends, and got into some good trouble. I said goodbye to my old faithful.... it hurt WAY more than I expected, but I needed to do it. He made my decision really easy, thankfully. I'm happy to be moving forward without any skeletons in my closet or "what ifs" lingering in the back of my mind. Fresh start... GO!
I also ended things with Nick... hopefully for the last time. I realized when there are just HUGE fundamental differences in how we view boundaries and respect... it'd just never work. I spoke to many people (probably too many) about the big problem, and EVERY person, 100% agreed with my view.... so thankfully I can move forward knowing I'm right. Our big problem was that he wants to maintain relationships with women he had flings with. I think it's utterly disrespectful to try and keep women in his life that were flings, and even random sex. I don't have a problem with him being friends with some ex's... like the ones who really were friends to him and aren't random girls he hooked up with. He says he sees it as compromising a part of himself to give up those "friendships" in order to be with me. If hanging out with random girls he banged is more important than our relationship, it's obviously not a relationship I need to be in. I've frankly never felt so belittled and disrespected by a boyfriend. If he wouldn't have cheated on me things may have been different, but in the end it still wouldn't have worked if he cant have boundaries with women from his past. Just recently he sent an email to a girl saying "she was the one who got away and he hopes for another chance." That probably should have been my BIG GIANT red flag to end things right then. He still has the same mentality he had when he cheated on me last year. He wants to keep all these avenues of communication and "friendship" open with these girls he used to sleep with and doesn't see how that will interfere with any relationship he will have. I don't understand his need to be accepted and "friends" with everyone.... I'm much more discriminating about the people I have in my life, and I suppose thats why I have such a great group of friends I've had for years.
So, I'm moving forward with my head held high knowing that I made the very best choice I could have made. I stood up for myself and didn't compromise what I know is right. It hasn't really stung yet... so I'm wondering if since I knew it was coming I was prepared for this... or maybe I'll feel it later.
I just started a new book called "Unhooked Generation" about why it's so hard to find commitment in my generation..... expect a blog about my views on this shortly!
Anyway, Toronto is wonderful so far and I can't wait to go hang out with some friends up here. It looks like there will be a TON to do and see, YESS!!
xoxo
Farewell, Korea (better late than never!)
Once again I’m writing from 35,000 feet. This time I’m coming at you from above China. If you know me well you probably know that I’ve left Korea. If not, well… I’ve left Korea. I left my job early, and contrary to popular belief it wasn’t because I hate Korea! I actually grew to really love and appreciate the culture, aside from a few things. I made some excellent friends, whom through the travel bond (those of you who have lived abroad know what I mean) I’m sure I will be in contact with for years to come. I actually have plans to see one of them later this summer in her hometown!
I decided to leave solely because of my job. One day I was talking to my friend Alicia complaining about my job and things I hated… so she said, “Well, leave.” Those two little words stuck with me for days, and I bought my ticket a week later. She was right, I would NEVER be able to change the things that made my job miserable, so instead of being unhappy, I chose to go home. This doesn’t mean I would discourage other people from teaching abroad. Quite the opposite in fact, I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. Just be sure to thoroughly research the school you will work for before signing on the dotted line. I thought I had my bases covered in that department, but management changed when I got there, and the problems stemmed from that. I consider this a growing and learning experience, one that I am thankful for having.
Trying to figure out what to say to wrap up living in another country is nearly impossible. I know from living abroad before that inevitably people will ask, “So, what was it like?”
How do you summarize an entire culture and experience in a few sentences to someone who may have never been more than 200 miles from home? I could make them sit though thousands of photos I took and hours of stories… but, obviously that’s crazy talk! I feel like no matter how I explain it, people won’t get it.
If someone asks you, “What is being shot like?”
You could reply, “Well it hurts.”
“Well, how much?”
“A lot.”
There is a description of being shot, but do you actually understand what it feels like? No.
So, when asked what it was like, I’ll probably just smile and reply, “You had to be there!”
I decided to leave solely because of my job. One day I was talking to my friend Alicia complaining about my job and things I hated… so she said, “Well, leave.” Those two little words stuck with me for days, and I bought my ticket a week later. She was right, I would NEVER be able to change the things that made my job miserable, so instead of being unhappy, I chose to go home. This doesn’t mean I would discourage other people from teaching abroad. Quite the opposite in fact, I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. Just be sure to thoroughly research the school you will work for before signing on the dotted line. I thought I had my bases covered in that department, but management changed when I got there, and the problems stemmed from that. I consider this a growing and learning experience, one that I am thankful for having.
Trying to figure out what to say to wrap up living in another country is nearly impossible. I know from living abroad before that inevitably people will ask, “So, what was it like?”
How do you summarize an entire culture and experience in a few sentences to someone who may have never been more than 200 miles from home? I could make them sit though thousands of photos I took and hours of stories… but, obviously that’s crazy talk! I feel like no matter how I explain it, people won’t get it.
If someone asks you, “What is being shot like?”
You could reply, “Well it hurts.”
“Well, how much?”
“A lot.”
There is a description of being shot, but do you actually understand what it feels like? No.
So, when asked what it was like, I’ll probably just smile and reply, “You had to be there!”
Monday, May 31, 2010
when ajummas attack!
South Korea has a phenomena called ajumma. An ajumma is a woman that is older than your mom, but younger than your grandma. She dresses in bright colors, wears a hugeee visor, perms her hair into tight little black curls and doesn’t take any shit from anyone. They are tiny towers of awesome! A lot of people don't care for them, but I find them fascinating! They are likely to come at you full speed on the sidewalk with a granny cart in tow... and you better freaking move, because they will win this game of chicken every time! I've seen full grown men in business suits jump off the sidewalk to avoid collisions with an ajumma! Children are lucky to be so small and nimble, it's easy for them to dodge the ajumma bombs! They may also push you out of their way, yell at you, or even lean on you in the subway and take a nap. I believe one drooled on me last weekend, but I was too grossed out to check.
Now that we've covered the philosophy of the ajumma, I've got a great example of how these fine creatures can turn their terror into entertainment! Wednesday are elections here in Korea, and it's a whole different typing of campaigning here! Campaigning doesn't consist of speeches and kissing babies, it is chocked full of music numbers, dances, and vehicles making the rounds of every neighborhood blaring the campaign songs from their loud speakers. Sometimes these trucks park at opposite sides of intersections and have a battle of the loud speakers! Well, the ajumma plays a special role in this carefully choreographed masterpiece!
But wait, it only gets better. The campaigns are full of ajummas in uniform. The ajumma is a vital marketing tool for the politicians. They dress up in their matching shirts (blinding green, blue, or even yellow) complete with sash and oversize visor and congregate at busy intersections. Mind you Koreans walk or take public transit, so these streets are packed! If you walk by they smile and put a card in your hand. If it rains they put on parkas. There is no stopping an ajumma, so seeing gangs of them is thrilling. The best part is… they dance! The most rhythmically challenged dancing ever. Picture your white family at a wedding then take away the alcohol.
In conclusions, ajummas should be put on travel brochures for Korea. No doubt people would flock here to see these wondrous ladies in their natural habitat!
Please refer to my link for more information on the ajumma!
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2010/03/291_61092.html
Now that we've covered the philosophy of the ajumma, I've got a great example of how these fine creatures can turn their terror into entertainment! Wednesday are elections here in Korea, and it's a whole different typing of campaigning here! Campaigning doesn't consist of speeches and kissing babies, it is chocked full of music numbers, dances, and vehicles making the rounds of every neighborhood blaring the campaign songs from their loud speakers. Sometimes these trucks park at opposite sides of intersections and have a battle of the loud speakers! Well, the ajumma plays a special role in this carefully choreographed masterpiece!
But wait, it only gets better. The campaigns are full of ajummas in uniform. The ajumma is a vital marketing tool for the politicians. They dress up in their matching shirts (blinding green, blue, or even yellow) complete with sash and oversize visor and congregate at busy intersections. Mind you Koreans walk or take public transit, so these streets are packed! If you walk by they smile and put a card in your hand. If it rains they put on parkas. There is no stopping an ajumma, so seeing gangs of them is thrilling. The best part is… they dance! The most rhythmically challenged dancing ever. Picture your white family at a wedding then take away the alcohol.
In conclusions, ajummas should be put on travel brochures for Korea. No doubt people would flock here to see these wondrous ladies in their natural habitat!
Please refer to my link for more information on the ajumma!
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2010/03/291_61092.html
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Vacation to Wonju and games in Gangnam
I have a lot to say... but I can't right now. I'll have a big update around this time next week.
For now I'll write a little diddy about my weekend.
Friday was a day off work due to Buddha's birthday. Thankful for the day off, I planned on going to Chuncheon for the day with some friends. This city is near lakes, rivers, islands, and other beautiful scenery. It's the home of one of our favorite Korean foods, dalk galbi, and there was also a mime festival!! It sounded too good to be true, and apparently many other people agreed... because all the buses were sold out! Ahhh!
Luckily we had a koream with us to converse with the sales agent about alternative plans. The only place that wasn't sold out was a city called Wonju. The fact it was the only place with tickets available should have been a pretty good indicator of things to come. After our nearly 5 hour bus ride, that should have taken 1.5 hours.... we arrived in Wonju. We walked out of the bus terminal and asked some foreigners we spotted what there is to do. Thy laughed and said "nothing... that's why we are going to the bus terminal... our advice is to hop on a bus and head somewhere else." We thought they we being dramatic so we decided to get some lunch. We ate dalk galbi (although I'm sure it wasn't as good as chuncheon) and then searched for something, anything to do!! Turns out they were right. We spent the rest of the day drinking in front of a convenience store. The company was perfect, so really it turned out just fine. It was nice to leave the city!!
The weekend continued to be a "plan b" weekend when our plans to drink and sunbathe by the river on Saturday were foiled by a rainstorm! I decided to meet up with friends and try out a new board-game cafe. Since games are so expensive here, a lot of Koreans just go to a cafe that specializes in games to play there. We opted for Korean Monopoly and it was awesome! The game lasted around 4 hours, but we were so into it that it was fun! After the cafe it was late and we were hungry! I tried some new Korean food, then we spent the rest of the evening drinking on a patio in Gangnam while the rain poured down around us. It was actually a really fun day, despite our plans being rained out!
Sunday I spent the day with my best friend in Korea, Michelle. We studied Korean, played on the internet, and were generally hungover and lazy. It was a great weekend!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Am I good or bad....
I wonder if I'm really a good person.... like, deep down inside. Sure, I have good qualities like doing anything I can to help a friend or family member, like being a shoulder to cry on for people I love, like being compassionate for not only people I know, but the world in general. I'm a giver, I'm trustworthy..... but if you've done something to hurt me or people I love, I'm not the nicest person. I've got plenty of bad qualities, too. I'm rather selfish, I can be cold to people I don't like, and I'm stubborn as all get out, and I can be manipulative without even realizing what I'm doing. Everyone has bad qualities and good qualities, but what is the equation to figure out if I'm "good" or "bad"?
I've come to think that since I have good morals and values, it makes me a good person. But between the good and the bad choices I've made, do morals keep the scale pointed towards "good"? Hmm. Food for thought.
I wish I could select qualities I don't like myself and change them. I've been in a situation where I can see the ugly head of one of my bad qualities emerging from my strained smile... and just that like, I turn into a nasty person. I know I'm doing it, I know I'll regret it later, but I'm just so blinded by anger I let myself give into the frustration/anger/or any mix of emotions. Is there a way to change yourself? I want to eliminate certain qualities and strengthen others.
I've found it helps to surround myself with good people. When others around me are genuine and good, I have no need for the nasty side to show up. It's been kind of nice taking a break from my life in the US. I've been able to gain some perspective into what I was doing and who I was(am). I've also been able to be removed enough from the people I was spending time with the evaluate their true colors. It's amazing when I see some of their ramblings on the internet... I just sit back and think "THIS is who I was associating myself with?!?!" While most of my friends I've had for years and I know they are the right kind of people for me, there are others I'll have to steer clear of when I return to AZ. It's amazing that a lot of them are years older than me, but going out every night, not progressing with any sort of career or career goals, and no real plans to get their shit together. Some of these people have kids, and that's the saddest part. The kids are being punished because their parents shouldn't have had kids to begin with. I just want to tell them to grow up, stop partying every night, and read their kid a bedtime story.
Ok, thats enough for now.
xo
I've come to think that since I have good morals and values, it makes me a good person. But between the good and the bad choices I've made, do morals keep the scale pointed towards "good"? Hmm. Food for thought.
I wish I could select qualities I don't like myself and change them. I've been in a situation where I can see the ugly head of one of my bad qualities emerging from my strained smile... and just that like, I turn into a nasty person. I know I'm doing it, I know I'll regret it later, but I'm just so blinded by anger I let myself give into the frustration/anger/or any mix of emotions. Is there a way to change yourself? I want to eliminate certain qualities and strengthen others.
I've found it helps to surround myself with good people. When others around me are genuine and good, I have no need for the nasty side to show up. It's been kind of nice taking a break from my life in the US. I've been able to gain some perspective into what I was doing and who I was(am). I've also been able to be removed enough from the people I was spending time with the evaluate their true colors. It's amazing when I see some of their ramblings on the internet... I just sit back and think "THIS is who I was associating myself with?!?!" While most of my friends I've had for years and I know they are the right kind of people for me, there are others I'll have to steer clear of when I return to AZ. It's amazing that a lot of them are years older than me, but going out every night, not progressing with any sort of career or career goals, and no real plans to get their shit together. Some of these people have kids, and that's the saddest part. The kids are being punished because their parents shouldn't have had kids to begin with. I just want to tell them to grow up, stop partying every night, and read their kid a bedtime story.
Ok, thats enough for now.
xo
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