Sad love songs....

I've experienced some very painful things in my 28 years on this earth. I'm mostly stronger and better because of them.
When does it become just too much to bear and your heart shuts off completely?
I sit here listening to you playing sad love songs on your guitar and my heart shatters a little bit more. Just as my heart healed from its last break.... You fought your way into my life, much to my resistance. You promised me so much and you've already broken those promises. I was better off alone.... You set us into motion and I got hurt in the end. I'm sorry you're so broken.... But I'm even more sorry you broke me in return.
universe, please give me the strength to walk away with my head held high. Let me strong enough to survive this.
don't just stand there and watch me crumble.

June, in photo diary form

Whirl-wind of planes, hotels, late nights, summer romance, farmers markets, tie-dye days, summer kickoff parties, poolside, friend and gym!

Passing the birthday wish....

So my month-long business trip is finally coming to an end on Friday!! It's been a crazy ride and I've learned so much. I will miss Cali and watching Disneyland fireworks every night but I'm so excited to get home. So, as the title would suggest today is my birthday. It was a good one considering how far away from home I am (third year in a row) but I felt the love!! Went to a pirate dinner theater with my lady co-workers tonight which was amazing. But.... The best part of my birthday happened just a little bit ago. As of Monday I am an official wish granter through the make-a-wish foundation and tonight I confirmed my first wish kid!!! I'm proud to be a part of this organization and can't wait to make my kids one true wish come true!!

Always counting...

I feel like I've always been counting with you.

Counting the days since we met. The days since our first date. The weeks we had under our belt. Counting the good times. Counting memories made. The times we went on adventures.



Then, when you broke my heart my counting changed.

I would count the hours I spent mourning the loss of you. The days since I felt complete. The number of tears I shed that night.

Things seemed to mold into a new but different relationship. It lost some things, but over the months gained other things in turn. It had depth and passion. You were still my shoulder to lean on, my friend to call with good news or bad..... things were not moving forward or back, but were in a suspended state and I was happy.

I started to count how many days until you had to leave for this trip or that trip. I'd count the number of pictures and texts I'd get from different locations around the world.

Then the counting changed again. You weren't home 48 hours when you explained things would be changing again. I decided to take control, because it's the last thing I could really take.

It's been 6 days since I've seen you.
It's been 14 days since we spoke.
It's been 28 days since you knew I had a change of heart.
It's been 45 days since you've called.
It's been 60 days since I fell asleep next to you.

It's been 400something days since I should have walked away, with my heart still whole.



Maybe one day I will count the years since I missed you.

It was 108 (according to my car) this weekend!! Who is not ready for summer? This girl!! Life continues to be grand…. And I’m not taking it for granted. As we gear up for summer here in AZ the pool season has officially started. First pool party of the year was on Saturday after the Scottsdale Culinary Festival. It wasn’t as fun as it normally is due to the heat, but we still managed to have a good time. This was a busy weekend in Phoenix, so it stinks that it was SO hot! We also participated in the Classic Car Cruise on central, a bicycle architecture tour of downtown (5 hours riding a bike in the sun/heat was pretty draining!), Gay pride, brunches and of course our weekly dinner/pool party at Mary’s Sunday evening to wrap up the weekend.
I’m still working hard in the gym…. It’s been 2 months of working out 6 days a week. I’m seeing some results and happy with the extra energy it gives me. I have a couple friends who are my regular gym buddies and I love how motivated we all keep each other. I’ve starting working out with my “brother” Devin and since he has all his military workouts memorized he is pushing me harder to keep up with him and I love it. We are going to start running together, too…. Which should be fun as long as we go at night when it’s not 500 degrees.

That’s all the news over here…. Work and family are great as always. The kitty is happy and finally acting a little more normal around company! The new car is still a blast to drive and I’m so in love with it. Yay.

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:-)

Spring in the city...

Hello world.

Such a busy end to winter and start to spring!

I've got a new job, new car, new rad iPhone so far this month! Go me!

I came to a new company with the former Director from my last company. It's a huge step forward and has SO much potential for me. I will be traveling around 40 weeks a year, which is awesome for someone like me who has the travel bug! I'm so grateful he picked me (and my work bestie) to come with him.... nothing beats someone you admire wanting you on their team!

With my great new salary I decided it was time to upgrade my ride... pictured below! I LOVE it and I'm already getting a nice tan from cruising with the top down!