Wish family!

Send off party for one of my wish kids last night..... they are such a spectacular family. Can't wait to see what kind of adventures they have in Alaska!

Hey guys in denim shorts, why do you hate sex so much?

It's been a while! Life is good..... hectic, but good.
Had an amazing vacation to San Francisco. Got to see a ton of stuff, eat good local food, go on a speed boat in the bay, stay at a swanky hotel in Union Square. The weather was perfect, the company was perfect and the schedule was busy enough to have fun, but not hectic to the point I came home exhausted.
Since vacation I've been busy with work and the normal social crap. My kitty was sick for a while... but I think he is on the mend. I hope so anyway, vet bills are ridiculous. They give me very little information about his prognosis for how much I pay them. Stupid heads.
High school reunion was this past weekend.... I didn't actually make it to the reunion (prior engagements) but I got to spend a lot of time with old high school friends throughout the week, which was amazing. I miss them!!! I'm making much more of an effort on spending time with people that mean the most to me, not just the ones that live closest to my house.
I like the way my life is heading... I'm spending time with my book club, art night, playing my cello, volunteering my time with Make-A-Wish, writing business plans and I'm surrounded by people who love me unconditionally. Less time at bars or just "hanging out" with friends.

Up up and away... again...

Things are still kind of "off" here. I'm rocking at work (love my new client site) but outside of work it's just a lot of booze and trouble. I'll straighten myself out again eventually. I kind of like being a little out of control.... it makes me feel young again. Heading to San Francisco tomorrow for a vacation. The high is 59 degrees tomorrow!! Compared to the 110 here... it's a welcome change. I have to pack and do laundry but I just want to go to a concert tonight so I can drink cheap beer and run amok. #whitegirlproblems

Sad love songs....

I've experienced some very painful things in my 28 years on this earth. I'm mostly stronger and better because of them.
When does it become just too much to bear and your heart shuts off completely?
I sit here listening to you playing sad love songs on your guitar and my heart shatters a little bit more. Just as my heart healed from its last break.... You fought your way into my life, much to my resistance. You promised me so much and you've already broken those promises. I was better off alone.... You set us into motion and I got hurt in the end. I'm sorry you're so broken.... But I'm even more sorry you broke me in return.
universe, please give me the strength to walk away with my head held high. Let me strong enough to survive this.
don't just stand there and watch me crumble.

June, in photo diary form

Whirl-wind of planes, hotels, late nights, summer romance, farmers markets, tie-dye days, summer kickoff parties, poolside, friend and gym!

Passing the birthday wish....

So my month-long business trip is finally coming to an end on Friday!! It's been a crazy ride and I've learned so much. I will miss Cali and watching Disneyland fireworks every night but I'm so excited to get home. So, as the title would suggest today is my birthday. It was a good one considering how far away from home I am (third year in a row) but I felt the love!! Went to a pirate dinner theater with my lady co-workers tonight which was amazing. But.... The best part of my birthday happened just a little bit ago. As of Monday I am an official wish granter through the make-a-wish foundation and tonight I confirmed my first wish kid!!! I'm proud to be a part of this organization and can't wait to make my kids one true wish come true!!

Always counting...

I feel like I've always been counting with you.

Counting the days since we met. The days since our first date. The weeks we had under our belt. Counting the good times. Counting memories made. The times we went on adventures.



Then, when you broke my heart my counting changed.

I would count the hours I spent mourning the loss of you. The days since I felt complete. The number of tears I shed that night.

Things seemed to mold into a new but different relationship. It lost some things, but over the months gained other things in turn. It had depth and passion. You were still my shoulder to lean on, my friend to call with good news or bad..... things were not moving forward or back, but were in a suspended state and I was happy.

I started to count how many days until you had to leave for this trip or that trip. I'd count the number of pictures and texts I'd get from different locations around the world.

Then the counting changed again. You weren't home 48 hours when you explained things would be changing again. I decided to take control, because it's the last thing I could really take.

It's been 6 days since I've seen you.
It's been 14 days since we spoke.
It's been 28 days since you knew I had a change of heart.
It's been 45 days since you've called.
It's been 60 days since I fell asleep next to you.

It's been 400something days since I should have walked away, with my heart still whole.



Maybe one day I will count the years since I missed you.