Hey four eyes

Well hello, it's been a while. I guess I haven't updated for a while because there isn't much to update. Work is great, the cat seems to be recovered and healthy, friends are amazing as always, still spending a lot of time with the family.
Well, some kind of big news did come up. I had an investor meeting last week and it looks like he wants to move forward with funding my bake shop/restaurant. I'm starting to doubt myself and that I have what it takes to run a business. It may be jitters about my dreams coming true.... or maybe I really don't have what it takes.
My consultant has now become a good friend to me and has been mentoring me through this process. I feel he game me some valuable advice last week: How many things in life do we do without thought that we deplore? Yet dread our dreams coming to fruition. It is OK to be nervous from excitement and a little from the unknown, but take a big breath, smile and treat it like a roller coaster. Just remember to put your hands up and scream because it is fun.
Brilliant.

Other than working on my business plan and holiday shopping, not much else is new. Hosted a big Oktoberfest surprise party (yes, in December) for a dear friend... bon fires, German feast, lederhosen, DJ, german beers.... it was a great night. We followed it up with a bike ride around the city the following day... can't beat winter in Phoenix.

check out the new glasses!

Photo blog

Too busy for a proper update.... here are a few photos of what I've been up to. Car shows, camping, boating, art shows, comedy shows, kitty time, friends..... you know.

.... summer is over so quickly...

It's Fall! I'm still alive, just too busy to blog these days. Just got back from Apache Lake Music Festival. Any AZ (or west coast) friends.... google it and join us next year! One of the best weekends of my life, and we know how amazing my life has been. Woke up Sunday morning in a friend of a friends tent.... there was a tall man in a blue polyester suit. I thought someone drew a penis on my face, but turns out it was just a smudge from where the cops wrote "86" on my hands. Not sure how I got 86ed from an entire lake, but leave it to me! I think they were just trying to be funny though, because they let me keep at it til 5am, haha. A few weeks ago Miss Jessica came to town..... gosh, I love her. We went to Flagstaff for a few days, hit Sedona and Oak Creek Canyon, too. Fell back into our old ways partying til 4am with the Dead Kennedy's after meeting all the bands back stage. I fell in momentary love with a guitar player. It happens... it passed. She will always be my favorite girl in the world. No matter the distance. Other than that I've been busy with work (awesome project coming to an end in a few weeks), Tour De Fat was last weekend..... just as fun as always. Bicycle weather is upon us. 7 friends got engaged in the last month, so busy with parties to celebrate. I concluded putting my heart on the line is still worth it, I'm just going to have to wait years for the right one to take a chance on. If ever. I'm doubting the right guy for me exists. I found him once.... he got engaged 15 days ago. I'm truly happy for him.

Wish family!

Send off party for one of my wish kids last night..... they are such a spectacular family. Can't wait to see what kind of adventures they have in Alaska!

Hey guys in denim shorts, why do you hate sex so much?

It's been a while! Life is good..... hectic, but good.
Had an amazing vacation to San Francisco. Got to see a ton of stuff, eat good local food, go on a speed boat in the bay, stay at a swanky hotel in Union Square. The weather was perfect, the company was perfect and the schedule was busy enough to have fun, but not hectic to the point I came home exhausted.
Since vacation I've been busy with work and the normal social crap. My kitty was sick for a while... but I think he is on the mend. I hope so anyway, vet bills are ridiculous. They give me very little information about his prognosis for how much I pay them. Stupid heads.
High school reunion was this past weekend.... I didn't actually make it to the reunion (prior engagements) but I got to spend a lot of time with old high school friends throughout the week, which was amazing. I miss them!!! I'm making much more of an effort on spending time with people that mean the most to me, not just the ones that live closest to my house.
I like the way my life is heading... I'm spending time with my book club, art night, playing my cello, volunteering my time with Make-A-Wish, writing business plans and I'm surrounded by people who love me unconditionally. Less time at bars or just "hanging out" with friends.

Up up and away... again...

Things are still kind of "off" here. I'm rocking at work (love my new client site) but outside of work it's just a lot of booze and trouble. I'll straighten myself out again eventually. I kind of like being a little out of control.... it makes me feel young again. Heading to San Francisco tomorrow for a vacation. The high is 59 degrees tomorrow!! Compared to the 110 here... it's a welcome change. I have to pack and do laundry but I just want to go to a concert tonight so I can drink cheap beer and run amok. #whitegirlproblems

Sad love songs....

I've experienced some very painful things in my 28 years on this earth. I'm mostly stronger and better because of them.
When does it become just too much to bear and your heart shuts off completely?
I sit here listening to you playing sad love songs on your guitar and my heart shatters a little bit more. Just as my heart healed from its last break.... You fought your way into my life, much to my resistance. You promised me so much and you've already broken those promises. I was better off alone.... You set us into motion and I got hurt in the end. I'm sorry you're so broken.... But I'm even more sorry you broke me in return.
universe, please give me the strength to walk away with my head held high. Let me strong enough to survive this.
don't just stand there and watch me crumble.

June, in photo diary form

Whirl-wind of planes, hotels, late nights, summer romance, farmers markets, tie-dye days, summer kickoff parties, poolside, friend and gym!

Passing the birthday wish....

So my month-long business trip is finally coming to an end on Friday!! It's been a crazy ride and I've learned so much. I will miss Cali and watching Disneyland fireworks every night but I'm so excited to get home. So, as the title would suggest today is my birthday. It was a good one considering how far away from home I am (third year in a row) but I felt the love!! Went to a pirate dinner theater with my lady co-workers tonight which was amazing. But.... The best part of my birthday happened just a little bit ago. As of Monday I am an official wish granter through the make-a-wish foundation and tonight I confirmed my first wish kid!!! I'm proud to be a part of this organization and can't wait to make my kids one true wish come true!!

Always counting...

I feel like I've always been counting with you.

Counting the days since we met. The days since our first date. The weeks we had under our belt. Counting the good times. Counting memories made. The times we went on adventures.



Then, when you broke my heart my counting changed.

I would count the hours I spent mourning the loss of you. The days since I felt complete. The number of tears I shed that night.

Things seemed to mold into a new but different relationship. It lost some things, but over the months gained other things in turn. It had depth and passion. You were still my shoulder to lean on, my friend to call with good news or bad..... things were not moving forward or back, but were in a suspended state and I was happy.

I started to count how many days until you had to leave for this trip or that trip. I'd count the number of pictures and texts I'd get from different locations around the world.

Then the counting changed again. You weren't home 48 hours when you explained things would be changing again. I decided to take control, because it's the last thing I could really take.

It's been 6 days since I've seen you.
It's been 14 days since we spoke.
It's been 28 days since you knew I had a change of heart.
It's been 45 days since you've called.
It's been 60 days since I fell asleep next to you.

It's been 400something days since I should have walked away, with my heart still whole.



Maybe one day I will count the years since I missed you.

It was 108 (according to my car) this weekend!! Who is not ready for summer? This girl!! Life continues to be grand…. And I’m not taking it for granted. As we gear up for summer here in AZ the pool season has officially started. First pool party of the year was on Saturday after the Scottsdale Culinary Festival. It wasn’t as fun as it normally is due to the heat, but we still managed to have a good time. This was a busy weekend in Phoenix, so it stinks that it was SO hot! We also participated in the Classic Car Cruise on central, a bicycle architecture tour of downtown (5 hours riding a bike in the sun/heat was pretty draining!), Gay pride, brunches and of course our weekly dinner/pool party at Mary’s Sunday evening to wrap up the weekend.
I’m still working hard in the gym…. It’s been 2 months of working out 6 days a week. I’m seeing some results and happy with the extra energy it gives me. I have a couple friends who are my regular gym buddies and I love how motivated we all keep each other. I’ve starting working out with my “brother” Devin and since he has all his military workouts memorized he is pushing me harder to keep up with him and I love it. We are going to start running together, too…. Which should be fun as long as we go at night when it’s not 500 degrees.

That’s all the news over here…. Work and family are great as always. The kitty is happy and finally acting a little more normal around company! The new car is still a blast to drive and I’m so in love with it. Yay.

Follow me on instagram! Missmuse06 :-)

:-)

Spring in the city...

Hello world.

Such a busy end to winter and start to spring!

I've got a new job, new car, new rad iPhone so far this month! Go me!

I came to a new company with the former Director from my last company. It's a huge step forward and has SO much potential for me. I will be traveling around 40 weeks a year, which is awesome for someone like me who has the travel bug! I'm so grateful he picked me (and my work bestie) to come with him.... nothing beats someone you admire wanting you on their team!

With my great new salary I decided it was time to upgrade my ride... pictured below! I LOVE it and I'm already getting a nice tan from cruising with the top down!

Chilly

The weather has finally changed..... I miss the warmth of the sun.

You left my key on the kitchen table. I guess it's really over. Short but sweet, just the way I like it. No more empty threats. This is now officially our song.

Mister gave me the courage to open myself up again, and for that I must thank him.... even if it doesn't seem it will pan out. It's just amazing how far we've come, Mister. You broke my heart deeper than any other love.... you taught me the most.... and will forever be an important presence in my life. Thanks for always being there.... in so many ways. I love you so much!




I've started job hunting. I called my old boss (in tears, mind you) asking him to get me moved back to his office and for him to be my boss again. He is working on it, no promises. My office is so short staffed they aren't going to sign off for me to go back... I can see it now. *sigh* The grass is never greener and I should never believe people with a motive! Learned my lesson, blasted corporate america!

This would be a perfect opportunity to really pursue my dreams..... alas it's so scary out there! I'm sniffing around online for jobs, and trying not to let the travel bug bite me. I just bought a rockin vintage sofa and a giant flat screen TV, I'm kinda stuck here for a while. I can hopefully survive the corporate jungle for a little while longer. Maybe.


I'm having growing pains in life. I'm shedding some people and ideas that I've grown out of. It's for the best, really. I realized then, as I'm realizing now.... life is too short for anyone poisonous to be in it. Love begets love.





Jesse is still in the ICU..... but look, he is awake!! It's amazing what he has been through, and is still fighting like a champ. Man Vs. School bus..... the alpha wolf will win every time. While the docs won't tell us he is out of the woods, I have very good feelings he is going to be just fine. Life is full of miracles, you just have to know where to look.

Oh, Jesse....

This is my formal plea to you Jesse. I've gotta believe that somehow you hear us talking to you.... you hear us urging you to keep fighting. Today makes 11 days since your accident. We all miss you so much, please wake up and give us a sign you're going to be ok. We have so many adventures ahead of us.... so much rock band in our underwear to play.


V is bringing me your iPod and I'm gonna loan the Skyrim soundtrack on for you.... if that doesn't make you wake up I don't know what will.


http://www.azcentral.com/video/1290692924001

RIP Andres

May you rest in peace, Andres Romay.... and Happy Birthday. I hope you saw how many people showed up for your funeral last night.... you are so loved and so missed. You affected more lives than you'll ever know...

So busy!

I'm in week 4 of my 18 hour days. I am still working around 50 hours a week.... but now I'm in school full time as well.... for BAKING!! Weeee! I'm in a general culinary class right now, which is pretty cool. Our final exam is a gourmet 5 course meal. Fancy!! Next semester I get to start actually baking. I'm so excited. And exhausted.

Love yas.

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Happy October.

Life here is as status-quo as my life ever gets. Weekend outings with friends, work work work and all the other little odds and ends that make life so grand.

You know what's funny? When a girl doesn't want a guy until she sees another girl interested in him. It's like a child who throws a fit over a disregarded toy because someone else wanted it off the shelf. Well you know what? She'll tire of you again.... put you back on that shelf. You're going to regret the choices you made, mark my words.

two new tattoos

Isn't summer over yet?!

I'd say I'm pretty lucky that life is continuing to get better by the day. A few rough days are sprinkled between the good.... but who am I to complain about that?! Things continue to be good and I'm grateful.

I had my last day at the Art Institute yesterday... and I'm really sad about it. Well, more like it's bittersweet. I'm staying with the same company, just moving to a different brand at a different office. I will surely miss the people I've spent so much time with over the past year (working in close quarters really bonds people!) but I'm also happy to be taking yet another step forward in this company. I interviewed 2 weeks ago and was told I wouldn't hear anything for at least a week... and then I got the offer like 5 hours later. They pretty much gave me everything I wanted without any hesitation. My reputation precedes me according to my boss. I like that! So, I did have some tears saying goodbye to my boss... he has been a wonderful mentor and really helped shaped who I am in this company, but I know I'll be much better off in my new spot. It will certainly make my life a lot easier!! This new spot has so many perks and resources that I've been wanting for months! Working with the military is A LOT of work and anything they can do to make is easier is much appreciated!


I had an easy week being that it was my last so I decided to take off a day and head out of town. Apparently I can't go more than 2 weeks without leaving town. We just had the "adult swim" weekend in Flagstaff 2 weeks ago (which was amazing of course)! I headed up to Jerome this time.... hadn't been there since before I left for Korea. Lots of drinking and sunshine and good food and fun! After Jerome we went up to Mary's in Flagstaff to spend the night. Mary decided on San Felipe's for dinner/drinks and we ended up winning a guitar... pretty good luck, eh? I was 3 hours late for work the next day but c'est la vie.... gotta live life to the fullest!

Yesterday my good friend Kat, her husband Joe and their son Colin came to town! They are staying with me (having a 2 year old in the house reminds me just how anal I am about picking everything up all the time!!) and it's a blast. Joe is testing with the Scottsdale PD so they are getting a feel for the city and checking things out. I got to introduce them to some good friends and we've had a blast so far. Joe is out meeting my uncle (police officer) right now and Kat just crashed for the day (she's pregnant and worn out!) so I'm enjoying a few quiet minutes to my self!