confused.... show me a sign....

I'm feeling really confused. I'm trying to make some sort of game plan for when I get back to AZ. This is not the path I had in mind for my life, when did I stray so far from what I wanted? Recent discoveries have thrown yet another wrench into my plans. As of now my life is a ticking time-bomb and I'm thinking about damage control for an event that hasn't even happened yet. Each day I am a day closer to the demise of my life as I know it.... I'm a tight rope walker and the rope is starting to fray. Don't look now, but I may come crashing down. I don't have a safety net, but I have a pocket full of cash and some big dreams.

Maybe Sarah is right to have faith in my (love ya, cupcake).... maybe I'll go to confectionery school and make some of the biggest, baddest cakes and cupcakes this world has ever seen!! Take that, college degree!




Monday.

MMMMMMMonday!

Sleep deprived but happy

I've discovered you learn a lot about a culture through its children. Children don't have that sensor yet.. the one which enables them to realize certain tidbits of into they know about mom, dad, school, the neighborhood, or even the culture should be withheld from the general public. It's kind of exciting to learn about Korea through a childs eyes. Here are some fun things I've learned so far...


Some of the kids have not eaten ice cream in over a year, despite the fact every convience store and shopping center is loaded down with tasty ice cream options.

The majority of the children I teach have never touched an animal. Most of them told me it's because their parents have told them to be afraid of animals.

Children in Korea do not tell parents (or any family member) that they love them. I was playing a "when was the last time you..." game and one of the questions was "When was the last time you told someone you love them?" And 90% of the kids said "never." A few said they will tell their mom they love her. Isn't that crazy?

Children typically (this is the norm I have seen, not a rule) do not have a relationship with their father. We we writing about things we enjoy doing with our mothers (they replied, cooking, studying, watching TV, and shopping) and what they enjoy doing with their fathers (getting money and driving the car were the standard answers). I asked why they don't play games with their fathers or interact on a more loving level and they explained that their fathers work from the time the sun is up until well after children go to bed. Some of the kids go all week without seeing their dad. On sunday when men have the day off, they are resting so they can work another 100 hour work week. (This will be another blog topic later).

Children have an average of 2-3 extra classes per day, and that number rises the older they are. I was telling some kids that American students go to school for 6-7 hours a day, and thats it. Some choose to play a sport or do an activity, but it's not mandatory. My korean students were blown away. Even the 7 and 8 year olds have martial arts, piano (some), computer class, English class almost every day after school. The older students also take an extra math class, science class, History class etc. to get good grades in school. If they do not do well in English (hence all the extra classes) they will not get into college. If you don't go to college here (and you can't go back as an adult) you are destined to have a crappy job. I've seen high school students walking home from school at midnight or 1am.

I had a discussion with some of my students asking how they feel about the long hours they put into their education. Many of them said they wish they had it easy like American kids. They wish they could run around outside and play instead of spending every daylight hour in a classroom. Others added that they are ok with the long hours because they are "smarter than American kids" and "will get better jobs." I never stopped to think about that point of view before! These children do have a larger skill set than American children, (fluent in 2-3 languages, playing 1-2 instruments, learning a sport or martial art, all the extra math and science classes) but is the cost too high? The cost of giggles and picnics on a Wednesday afternoon or baking cookies with mom after school, or even making forts with the neighbor kids in your living room after school? Hmmm. Food for thought.


I will have to discuss my views on all the extra classes and work koreans do in a later blog, it's way too much for my brain right now!


On a personal note, life is still good. I'm frustrated with my job. Not the students, they're fine... just the structure of how my school is being run. There is no consistency and they are piling extra work onto the employees because the other American girl is still slacking and sleeping at work. Instead of firing her and setting a standard, they chose to assign a shit ton of work hoping it would light a fire under her. I spent all day today (my weekend!) working on things for work instead of relaxing! I'm resenting some choices the management is making, but they aren't my choices to make so I will continue to do my best and ignore as much of the bullshit as I can.

We had brought another kitten into the house last week, but after the kitten decided it hated me and was repeatedly pooping and peeing on me while I slept... we had to return him to his previous owner. He ruined all my bedding and pillows... so it is costing me a good chunk of money to replace everything he destroyed. As much as I would have loved to work on training him, I can not afford to replace all these blankets every day!!






out with a group of friends for soju and games!

Ho-hum

Ever feel like the weeks just run together? The days are just a count down to the weekend that comes and goes in the blink of an eye? Thats how life feels right now. I don't hate my job, but it's not a career or something I'm invested in, so it's quickly become a routine of work to get to the next week. I hate feeling this way, but I think it has more to do with the weather than my job. It's SO cold here. It hasnt been above freezing in weeks and the snow is here to stay for a while it seems. It's too cold to really enjoy the weekends. It's just a shuffle from one errand to the next. I can't wait until it warms up and I can enjoy my time away from work. I want to see things and explore this giant city. I want to take weekends and leave the city, too! I guess it just doesn't feel like a break from working when I just run errands, clean, and sometimes drink or eat out. It's boring. I need some excitment. I need a change of pace.



Last year it was so nice that we got a lot of breaks from work. I loved my job... a lot, but kids take a lot out of you when you are invested in them. It was really nice to be able to get away for long weekends and holidays to recharge my batteries. In my current job we are supposed to get 2 weeks vacation, but my boss dictates some of those days (like New Years Eve) so in reality I don't get two weeks off. I know 2 weeks is pretty standard in the US as far as vacation goes, but it doesn't feel like enough over here. I want to be able to go places (China, Japan, maybe Thailand) and it doesn't seem possible if my time off is so limited. Hmmm. I have a cold, I think it's making me cranky?



Anyway, life is good over in Korea. I haven't done much, which is why I haven't been updating. Nothing new to talk about. I do have some topics I want to cover, I just haven't had the time or energy to write lately. The kitten wakes me up every 20-30 mins EVERY night, so I'm exhausted every day. My life seems to revolve around the kitten. I love him, but I can't wait for him to grow up a little so I don't have to rush home to play with him every day. If he doesn't get a few hours of play time in before bed he doesn't let me sleep at all. Brat. We have created a monster! A cute monster.