I've been making a conscious effort to take a step back, breathe in, breathe out.... and roll with the punches.
I really need to learn to just let things happen. Trying to control the outcome of things, or change the minds of people... well, it's exhausting. At first I thought I was so concerned with the outcomes of events because I just wanted things to go my way, but that's not it. I simply want to know what's going to happen, be it good or bad. Suspense kills me. I'll wait for a TV series to come out on DVD so I can watch the entire season, I don't want to be left in suspense every single week as to what will happen next. It's not comfortable for me.
People don't seem to understand this mentality. When I tell people I just want an answer about something, they tend to think I want them to answer in a way that pleases me, but that's not it at all. I can handle disappointment, shock, or grief much easier than... just nothing. Maybe this is because I'm a planner. How can I make a solid plan if things can change at a moments notice? Sometimes I enjoy flying by the seat of my pants..... like last minute road trips, midnight scavenger hunts, friends showing up at my house saying "throw on some shoes and jump in the car!"..... these things are fun. When it comes to housing, relationships, jobs, and family functions..... I need a heads up!
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