So after talking with some people today about dating now vs. 20 years ago I came to some conclusions. We all know dating has changed with the evolution of technology, but there are many different interpretations of what exactly this information age has does to us. My opinion: years ago people went on dates. The guy would call the girl, make plans, pick her up, and they'd spend an evening together. If he wanted to see her again he'd have to call her and make plans for the next date. After a few dates said couple would either become a couple or they'd move on. It was comparatively easier than the crap we have to deal with now. These days you've got facebook, texting and emailing all mixed into the dating game. I know people who solely ask others out via text. I definitely make many of my plans through text or facebook, but if it's important I will still call someone to firm things up. The texting to make plans makes things much more casual in my mind. It's not that personal touch and full attention people used to give each other.
So not only did we forget how nice the personal touch of a proper phone call is, but we don't go on as many real dates as we used to. These days going to a show as a group, meeting up a bar, or even watching a movie at someones house can be construed as a "date." Over time we have allowed this to happen... and I'm not sure why. The romance of a dinner date and movie is typically reserved for someone you're already dating, not someone you're just getting to know.
As if it's not bad enough we are trying to decode texts from each other while hanging out at a bar so we're not really sure it's a date...we've also got the dreaded post (maybe) date texts to deal with. According to older people I've talked to, you'd go on a few dates with someone and either make it a boyfriend/girlfriend thing... or you'd move on. Well, it's just not that simple anymore. Sometimes you go out with someone and you never hear from them again.... which is almost a gift as opposed to the long, drawn out text/hang out relationship you could get roped in to.
I feel like society is telling us it's bad to be alone. We should be paired up. We need that other person to validate us and share our experiences with. That's nice and all... but people seem to misplace their emotions and attachments just to avoid being alone. That's why girls (and it goes for guys too) have a hard time figuring out where they stand with a guy, or if he is really into her. The guy goes out with the girl, they have fun and enjoy each other, but he's not really sure he wants to commit. So instead of just parting ways, he's going to text the girl, chat with her on facebook, and probably booty call her from time to time. This keeps the line or communication open and satiates the loneliness without having to fully commit himself to a relationship. This guy then finds one, or maybe even two other girls to do the same thing with. The first girl finds out about the other girls and she's not even sure if she can be mad or say he cheated because she isn't even sure they were together in the first place.
This is whats wrong with my generation. We have too many options, too many lines in the water, and too much information in our face. Technology is our enemy, not our friend. We can't ever feel like we're happy with what we have because we are always waiting for the next update. We've all got unrealistic expectations of what our partners should be and mass media feeds on and perpetuates these ridiculous expectations. They shove the "bigger, better, and faster" new gadgets down our throats and tell us it's normal to always want an upgrade. We are in the mindset that we don't have to choose, we don't have to settle, something great will be coming 'round the bend shortly! Just hold on to what you've got until you see something better!
That brings me to a whole other topic I don't even want to get started on.... the "disposable generation." Everything we consume (be it food, clothes, technology, or even friends and relationships) is disposable. You don't want that phone?... get a new one! You don't like that friend now?... delete them from facebook! You don't feel like hanging out with that girl?... just blow her off!
I'll save that rant for another day!
1 comment:
"but people seem to misplace their emotions and attachments just to avoid being alone."
If you want to know the truth, I think this is why the divorce rate is so high. People are so terrified of never finding The One, never having a family, and being alone for the rest of their lives that they will settle for the most destructive relationships just to avoid it. At some point, some of them realize that it's better to be alone than to be with someone who is just wearing you down.
I've been there. It's how I ended up involved with Arianna's dad. I wanted a family and I wanted it while I was young. It didn't help that I had such a skewed vision of who he really was and it took me two years to get out. Even now I'm stuck with him until one of us dies or he finds it in himself to give up his rights so that Jon can adopt her.
Post a Comment