Ex-boyfriends have a purpose

I never realized how therapeutic spending time with an ex could be. We discussed all kinds of unresolved issues and made peace. It was strangely freeing. Years had passed, and I had forgotten the anger I harbored towards him. I finally let it go, even though I was unaware how angry I really was all this time it still feels good.

I'm happy for him.... he is in therapy and really working on getting his shit straight. He described his daily life as feeling like he is a dog, trying to pull off being a human. Like, from a distance people can't tell things are amiss, but once they get close they realize he isn't a person after all, and everything is all wrong with him. I can safely agree with this. He is charming and funny and is into cool art and comics and movies.... but once you get close all the little things don't add up. I agree with him that he isn't like a normal person. I told him to try the "fake it 'til you make it" approach. If he fakes being like a normal person for long enough, maybe it will eventually become true. He wants a family, I hope he gets it... as long as he is mentally able to invest and be a good family member. He had no role models growing up, but I still think he knows right from wrong, and that along with some more therapy and he could end up being a good dad.

In turn he gave me some good advice in regards to some of my ex's and unresolved issues of my own. It's funny how someone I haven't spoken to in years can still take a stab at why I'm doing what I'm doing... and be totally right. Am I that predictable? I like to think I'm not the same person I was years ago. I think I've changed.... and this summer is testing that. It's been all to easy to get drunk, dance the night away, and get involved with guys that are horrible for me. I feel like I'm in a "honeymoon" phase with Arizona.... and once I get settled I will mellow out again.

In closing, Max Bratton passed away last night. I want to send my sincere condolences to his sister, and my best friend, Jessica Bratton. My thoughts and prayers are with his family at this time. May angels lead you in.