The Next Step...

So, I'm not leaving Korea yet, but I've become obsessed with my next step in life.

I have it narrowed down to two things: esthetics or laser.

I feel like I'm in my mid-20s with not a whole lot of aim in life. I know what I want, but the details are hazy. I know my goals, but the details have yet to be filled in. I got the college degree because that's what you're "supposed to do" after college, but what now? The economy is int he shitter and doesn't show signs of improving. I always thought college was the magic ticket to a well-paying job that has room to grow. As my good friend Al says... "Magic ticket?! That's the lie that keeps colleges open."

I feel like he is right. Why did I need to go to college to validate myself? And why did I think it would lead me to the land of opportunity and fulfillment? In reality it lead me back to square one: confused, aimless, but hopeful about my future..... but 35 thousand dollars in debt.

Al always has such wonderful advice for me. He said tonight, "Working in a field that comforts people, and satisfies vanity...will always pay well. Choose a field that will you will enjoy and grow in for years...and one that you are sure will not be a drag for you...years down the road. True you change continually and mature...your perspective will change as the time goes by....let each step you take build into something that can support your ultimate goal....or even complement it so when you look back.....you can enjoy the memories. I think you are on the right track."

Ahhhh the wisdom... maybe I can learn from people if I take the time to listen.

I have some time to decide if going back to school is the right choice for me. I hate feeling so apathetic about career choices and my future. Some people are born with a passion engraved in them. Some people start college with a clear path and a career already chosen. I'm not one of those people. I wish I could try out 20 different professions and pick the one that suits me the best. The truth is, I don't know what I'm passionate about... career wise. I have passions: photography, design, makeup, beauty, art in general, working with children, helping people. If only I could make a solid career out of the things that I love with little or no risk involved. I still stand by the fact I think I would make an excellent art therapist for children. Too bad that would take years and years of schooling.

So, here you have my biggest fear. It's out in the open for the world to see. I fear I will never find my calling. I fear I will never be fully satisfied with my career. I worry this dissatisfaction could spill over into other realms of my life.

I'm going to continue to research schools and projected job growth in these industries. With the help of my wonderful mother I have been putting in many long hours of research and phone calls. I'll let you all know what I decide. xo