What defines cheating? Should the terms of cheating be established between two people..... or should it be pretty standard for everyone? I've been hesitant to ever call anything other than physical acts of cheating actual cheating...... but I think I've changed my mind. I had been accused of cheating on someone before. I was flabbergasted... I may have withheld emotion, but I was certainly not physically involved with anyone else! Well, he explained to me by emotionally checking out of the relationship with him, and checking into one with another man I was, by his standards, cheating on him. I plead my case.... I was not physically involved with that man on any level, I was seeking out comfort.... I needed a shoulder to lean on during hard times in my relationship! I swear! Looking back, I was, on a certain level, most definitely cheating on him. I went to my new friend with any good news, bad news, or any emotional need. When you are with someone, you should not be seeking comfort in another person. It's wrong.
Wikipedia defines cheating as-
"With regard to human relationships, couples tend to expect sexual monogamy of each other. If so, then cheating commonly refers to forms of infidelity, particularly adultery. However, there are other divisions of infidelity, which may be emotional. Cheating by thinking of, touching and talking with someone you are attracted to may be equally damaging to one of the parties. Emotional cheating may be correlated to that of emotional abuse, which to date is treated as seriously in a court of law as physical cheating. With the expansion of understanding of other cultures, there is a wide spectrum of what cheating means. When in a committed relationship, the definition of cheating is based on both parties opinions and both parties may redefine their understanding to match the party at an either lower or higher extreme of this definition. Some couples simply believe that cheating constitutes doing anything, whether verbal or physical, that one would not do in front of their significant other. Such examples would include: expressing attraction to another person, electronic communications, kissing, making out, and sexual relations."
I specifically like the part about electronic communication. In this day and age, the internet is the source of a lot of good, but also a lot of evil. I believe a lot of cheating these days happens online, or at least starts online. Online anonymity has made people way too comfortable! People say things to other people online that they would never, in a million years, say in person. I think it's a downfall of the internet and is raping our youth of their manners. Back to electronic communication. How far does someone have to take an online relationship before it constitutes cheating? Are flirty IMs cheating? Is having a dating website profile cheating? How about talking to an ex (sometimes flirty, sometimes casual)... is that cheating? Do intentions count more than actions? Someone (let's call him Chaz, to protect the not-so-innocent) has an online dating profile. He chats with many girls through this dating site, and enjoys the attention he gets from these random girls. Chaz has a girlfriend he cares about, and would not consider meeting any girl from the internet, he just wants an ego boost.... is that cheating?
Now.... what about the person who is setting themselves up to cheat, but doesn't even realize it? Or if they do realize it, they think their willpower is enough to keep anything from getting out of hand. I'm a believer in non-premeditated cheating. One thing leads to another, an opportunity has been presented... and willpower just isn't enough to keep the hormones at bay. Next thing you know... you just cheated. While it does take two to engage in an act of adultery, it doesn't take much to tempt a man.
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