It's late.

I took some allergy medicine to try to make me fall asleep, but it just made me loopy and put me in a weird mood. I have to be up in 5ish hours, I should be sleeping.

I'm having a "grass is always greener" moment.

I have a habit of taking off. Going new places, meeting new people.


Is there something wrong with me that no matter how good things get, how happy I am, no matter how many amazing people surround me.... I always look for -whats next?!?-

I've been in my current house for almost a year now..... it's time to either sign for another year or move on. I'm so, so tempted to move..... somewhere new and exciting. But, I feel the urge to stick to whats been good to me for the past year and see what happens. I'm finally trying to abandon that feeling that the right person will make me want to stay somewhere. I question wanting to give that up, because there is someone I would drop everything for and move back across country to see right now. Just to give it another go and see what happens. I'm a very curious person, we all know this..... so not knowing if things would have ever worked out with us just kills me. I want nothing but happiness for him, so I'll sit right here in AZ...... hoping one day the stars align and we are both single and in the same place at the same time. Slim odds...... but who knows.

So here I am, sitting alone at 2:30 on a friday night. Fighting the urge to pick up and go on an adventure. Fighting the urge to call the few people who tug my heart strings. Fighting the urge to close the laptop and actually be alone with myself.