Mondays....

The high of the weekend has been replaced by the Monday blues. Today is probably the hardest day I've had..... all summer. I'm totally bumming, and I can't really talk about it because people read my blog that don't need to know what's going on in my head today. Blah. I've decided to use blogger to update about my comings and goings instead of facebook. There are people I just don't want to know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, or where I'm headed. Blogger is safer. I gave the link to people I want to know whats going on with me, everyone else can go away. Facebook feels like a cancer in my life right now.... I'd delete it, but I love keeping in touch and seeing what certain people are up to. Its a sickness I tell you.

I'm excited to see some of my favorite kiddos from school tomorrow. I'm taking them to lunch and shopping. It'll be good times. Then on Wed. I start the new jobby job. I keep reminding myself it's just until I find my dream job. Doesn't make it easier I think. It wont be that bad. Just not my ideal situation. eh.

Amy thinks I should bring a hard copy of my resume to that dream job I've been applying for. The lady said they are still accepting resumes via internet, so i cant decide if bringing one in to them is annoying or shows how driven I am? Hmmmmm.

Gina Kelly says I need to let myself miss people that I want to miss. And allow them to miss me. I've just never been good at going cold turkey with people I still care about. I guess sometimes as much as I want to completely emotionally check out, I just cant. She says I need to put on makeup, do my hair, and head out into the world. Lately that has just ended with me getting super drunk and texting people I shouldn't be texting. Especially since most of those people are on a three hour time difference and I end up texting them in the middle of the night.

She says the "missing" people part will fade when I want it to. Am I really such a masochist I'm putting myself through more bullshit than I actually need to? Probably. ha. I need to start moving forward again (according to the great Gina Kelly).... I was doing so great until a couple days ago.... wtf!